Caving in.

I am not one to cave under stress. Often. But every now and then everything seems to just cave in on me. I am experiencing that tonight. The other night I was at the mall with some friends and we thought it would be fun to stop at the little blood pressure cuff machine and test all of our bp's (Yeah, we're old). Mine was a little on the high side... 124/91. Hmm. Weird. Later I was talking with Charlotte (a friend who is a PA) and I mention my high bp. "Are you stressed?" she asked. My reply, "No." Two days later my answer is totally different. I guess it just hit me.

In the last month my friend died from cancer, my son got stitches in his head, another friend's 6 month old baby might have to have surgery to correct a problem with his soft spots on his head, another friend is struggling because her friend, age 27, has just been diagnosed with colon cancer, three people connected to my church were murdered, my youngest son will soon have surgery to remove his tonsils and adnoids, good friends are struggling with fertility, and the list goes on.

In the midst of all of this, I am overwhelmed with what seems like 50 projects at church. I love most of them and wouldn't dream of giving them up... I enjoy the things I do there very much, but sometimes working with people can be very demanding and stressful. I lashed out a little tonight and I feel badly. I even took it out on Todd a little. I gave him the ice cold Bob Stoops stare (you know the one from Saturday, where he tripped over the ball boy, then stood up and gave the poor guy the look of death?) for saying I should "calm down." (Note to guys: never say this to your wife... it makes her even madder). I apologized soon after and now I'm venting here. My husband is so good to me, he knowsI was just stressed, and he let me get it out of my system. In fact, we hardly ever fight, and I am truly grateful and blessed to have him as my husband (love you, Todd).

So, if I've been short with you lately, I'm sorry. I need a break. If I had a passport I'd go to Mexico for a week's vacation. Scratch that- too many hurricanes there lately. Maybe Alaska. Or maybe I'll just try getting to bed at a decent hour.

Well, it's a new post, "A. Fan.," but it's not a fun one. Maybe tomorrow. :)